round and round the merry go round....

wat if u climb the apogee of your failure and u r actually at the perigee of watever u garnered as dreams? and to top it all u actually climbed it knowing fully well that this is the significance it is gonna have? ya its like walking through a tunnel knowing fully well that there is an express way at the other end....... but this seemed like the only practical solution in hand..... u made it sound exciting by saying it that way.... everytime people asked u abt ur current status u made it sound exciting so that u would never grumble or crib abt ur job. its all in the tone..... whether u speak to another person or to urself.... u build a wonderful career with wat u r doing currently as the 'first stepping stone to success'........ sadly knowing every waking moment that this is nothing but a remainder which spelt a death knell to ur dreams. yes, this is a new oppurtunity u must capitalize on it, try not to crib be the embodiment of the blood thats flowing in u (B+)..... yes yes yes. isnt taking up an oppurtunity that comes along a compromise when wat u wanted at that point of time is an illusion? its like a farmer accepting water and returning home when all he wanted was an oasis to start a civilization............ it is said that the universe isnt illogical and that u do wat exactly u wanted... all the time. if that were the case then why do disappointments ever exist? because u couldnt realise that this was wat u wanted? well then isnt want decided by the exercise of choice? and if u chose to want something, u work for it and at the end of it u don get it then......?????????????? wat does it account to? that u didnt deserve it? or u deserved another chance? or that it was Providence's way of saying that u were meant for something else? (the last 2 r in my opinion euphemisms for the 1st one) sometimes it is said that u need failures to appreciate success? then why at all have failures? why at all success be appreciated? why at all feel unhappiness and happiness..... when everything at the end of it is all but a perception........ maybe u know pandora opened the box with HOPE inside hoping against itself that it be opened and she come out to well spread a perception hope that things will be better. in other words live in an illusion based future. nothing solid nothing firm, just a floating passing cloud..... making us live in a vicious circle... of hoping and hoping and hoping ha ha ha ha ha i must say wat a bitch eh HOPE must be..... a big hypocratic bitch one that too.....