ever swung on a swing????? the exhilarating feel of going higher higher and higher.........and everytime u go higher u come down too accompanied by a sinking feeling in the pit of ur stomach. as u go higher the thrill of the height speaks abt the ephemeral happiness u feel and then it comes with a promise of unhappiness too.... a remainder of all that u have to do and have not done and most importantly dont wanna do.... abt things u hoped for dint get and finally stopped hoping for anything at all. again u go up with all that happiness and excitment and again u come down... and finally it stops. u feel so detached at the end of it all. its like this alternate heating and cooling which at the end of it hardens u or maybe deadens u. a point where u dont actually give imporatnce to anything at all. nothing seems to have any significance. u develop this attitude where u just can push things aside and walk away. where u r so unfair to ur friends in a way that u r detached with them. u may rave and rant that u dont while u actually are. u would want to go on a solitary walk claiming that it makes u feel better and introspect but in reality all it reinforces in u is that u r damn alone.... so damn dead. maybe u take tat walk to make urself feel that way in ur own way keep telling urself proving it to urself that u r dead. paradoxical as it may sound u try to come away from it but u r actually are sinking deep into it. all lines of demarcation seem to become blurred..... u just can be anyone u want an introvert an extrovert and all the degrees in between them..... there goes the definition of YOU. its like painting a circular cardboard in different colours of sectars and then rotating it at a high speed so that it merges into white.... when u upload a pic of urself and admire its individuality when suddenly someone takes the art history brush and plays with it on ur pic and laughs at the blur created....... o how much would it take to remove the word if... how much???